Suppose that the Lord loves you!

I have had a love hate relationship with institute! I have hated some classes and absolutely loved others! I have a very favorite teacher! His name is Brother Sheldon! He is super amazing! What I love the most is that when you asked questions he always goes to the scriptures! He has no problem saying when he doesn't know the answers! He usually tells you some scriptures that you should read and then he always says that is something you should fast and pray about! He always gives us things to study (one day I might do that) He also says some really funny stuff in class! The title of this blog is what he said in class today! He said "Suppose that the Lord loves you" Oh the class was laughing super hard! Ok maybe just Shaun, Natalie, and I! He then corrected himself to say "The Lord loves you suppose he wanted to let you know when his coming is, what group would you have to be in?" I have taken Teaching of the Prophet Joseph Smith-Teaching of John- Isaiah- Both Old Testaments from him! Seriously I love him!

I hate Valentines day but I do believe in Love

So lately (I really mean like the last few months ok really years) I have struggled with love! I would go from totally not believing in it to believing in it for everyone else but me to thinking it was a load of crap! (I feel like I should clarify that I am not talking about family love -I know my family loves me a lot more then I deserve or friendship love - I have amazing friends that are super amazing and stick around though the craziness!- I am talking about love love the kind in movies and books the cool kind that is a bit aloosive and if you find it you it is a tender mercy of the Lord) So in my love hate relationship with love (hahaha I think I am so funny) I have observed a few things! Number one the Love in movies and books is real but like most things it is messy in real life! I think there is a person that you can seriously love with all your heart! That makes you a better person! That some times  you turn around and think wow how did I get so luck for him/her to choice me! This stuff is real but what the movies/books fail to show mostly because it wouldn't make a good movie is that same person is a fat head sometimes. That same person has the ability to turn your life up side down, make it every difficult for you push your buttons and make it so you don't want to be around them all the time! Sometimes they make you want to do things you don't want to do! But the fact that you make it through  those patches make the good parts better! I have seen this in real live through people around me! Couples that stay together because they chose each other! They decided it was worth it! That even though it gets rough and feelings get hurt they can also mend! I have also seen brave people lives when that person has walked away! They are left with just pieces! These are the amazing ones, people who had love and had it smashed by the choice of another person! Those are the people who I have learned the most from in Love! That even though it hurts and your heart is broken it is worth it to try again! Love with the right person for eternity is worth trying for! Broken hearts mend but real love has no words that can describe it! So after years of observation and my counselling I will take baby steps to work on being in a place were I could fall in love! As Doris Day sings in a very popular song "When I fall in love it will be completely or I never will fall in love"! But when I fall in love I will still hate Valentines day! Stupid day made up by the candy, flower, and chocolate companies! I will not fall into the consumerism! I will celebrate Love on a different day!

Valentines!

Kimberly! My super Awesome sister in law make Kenna and I this beautiful Valentines bag! Isn't this the Cute! She is so talented!

Kenna! My beautiful sister brought me the chocolates and bear to school! So cute! The Bear plays One Direction's song you don't know your beautiful! She made my day!

The Rose was anonymous! But through my Detective skills I found out it was Kortni Tolman! (she brought one to school for her sister also) 

Sinus and Double Ear Infections Hopes and Dreams Smahed

On Thursday after it took me like five minutes in class to figure out that I needed to scroll down on web page in order for it work and giggling at myself my class decided that I was to sick to come to school on Friday! So I took the day off even though I wasn't dying! When I had stayed in bed all day Friday I felt better then I sat up and I could really feel the presser! So I did what every 27 year old would do! I called my mom and convienced her that it was her parental duty to take be to the doctor! So after one of the quickest doctors appointment ever! I found out I have a sinus infection and a Double ear infection! When we went to the Fred Meyer to pick up the precriptions we meet some girls on our way out! They tried to sell us something! When we got into the car my mom said I think those girls were gypsies! I was so mad that she wouldn't let me talk to real live gypsies! That is one of my dreams! Maybe they could invite me to one of their weddings! But not now because she wouldn't let talk to them! Rude!

Leaver!

I am a leaver not a putter awayer! I leave things every where! I will eventually I will pick it up but it really with be eventually! Lately I have been looking around and I have a left a few things namely Jewerly!

Like on the Microwave!

The Shelf going down Stairs! 

The Shelf by the window! 

Oh the Shelf still by the window! 

Wait! One more for a total of Three! 

On my dresser!

The bathroom counter! 

My Bed!

Just so you know! I went around and took all of these pictures earings and didn't pick one of them up!

I have Graduated!

No not from grade school or anything super cool like that! On Monday the 7th of January I graduated from counseling! Now many of you are thinking what! I am thinking of course! In October I had a small break down in the Bishops office! I had be very stressed out and my anxiety levels were huge! I have always had anxiety but usually in levels that I can push through (I owe that to my Mother she never let me giving into the anxiety she always made me push through it)! This time it was different! I wasn't talking to the normal people about what I was feeling I just stopped talking to every one about things like that! Those of you that know me are things not Melissa but yes Melissa stopped talking about the important, I was only talking about fluff! So by the time I got to the Bishop's I was breaking down! What was it about school, church, and boys (mostly my fear of them and dating -In my defense it is really hard to work through your anxiety about dating when you aren't dating) [Hense why they going on four dates this year is a big deal] Any way back to the story! My bishop ever so kindly (seriously he is the nicest person in the world) suggested that I go to counseling! He set me up through LDS Family services! My first appointment was October 23rd! I really didn't tell anyone that I was going not because I was ashamed I just didn't want anyone asking about it I knew I needed to do it on my own! It was so hard to go to that first appointment! My anxiety was off the charts! I feeling out the paper work crying because I couldn't handle it! But I faced my fears and cried all the way through the first session! Not because we making covering big issues or because it was sad but because I was scared out of my mind! I went to about six or seven sessions! None of them as bad as the first! I usually cried but none of the tears were unnecessary! I need to hear a lot of the council that he gave me! It was not really anything that I hadn't heard before from my family and friends, but this time it was unbias! I could tell that he was impressed with who I was and were I was in life! He helped me realize that I may not of lived my life exactly how I planed it but I was rocking it like I had planed! One of my favorite things he said to me was "Melissa you will get married. The Lord is preparing him for you!" I was a little shocked because he almost quoted one of my blessings! So on Monday when I told him that I was planing on going on four dates this year he laughed and said I am glad and Melissa I think that you are ready to graduate! I feel ten times better then I did in October! Are my issues solved, no way! But I am reminded that I know how to deal with them! I know that there are certain things that works for me, like going to the temple and talking to people! I am dealing with my anxiety, because I can! And some times you just have to choose to be Happy!

Christmas!

I love Christmas! I really love Christmas at the Senior Center!

I love Ruby! 

I really LOVE the Senior Center with my Grandpa! 

This is my most Favorite Great Uncle! I seriously love him!