I hate Valentines day but I do believe in Love

So lately (I really mean like the last few months ok really years) I have struggled with love! I would go from totally not believing in it to believing in it for everyone else but me to thinking it was a load of crap! (I feel like I should clarify that I am not talking about family love -I know my family loves me a lot more then I deserve or friendship love - I have amazing friends that are super amazing and stick around though the craziness!- I am talking about love love the kind in movies and books the cool kind that is a bit aloosive and if you find it you it is a tender mercy of the Lord) So in my love hate relationship with love (hahaha I think I am so funny) I have observed a few things! Number one the Love in movies and books is real but like most things it is messy in real life! I think there is a person that you can seriously love with all your heart! That makes you a better person! That some times  you turn around and think wow how did I get so luck for him/her to choice me! This stuff is real but what the movies/books fail to show mostly because it wouldn't make a good movie is that same person is a fat head sometimes. That same person has the ability to turn your life up side down, make it every difficult for you push your buttons and make it so you don't want to be around them all the time! Sometimes they make you want to do things you don't want to do! But the fact that you make it through  those patches make the good parts better! I have seen this in real live through people around me! Couples that stay together because they chose each other! They decided it was worth it! That even though it gets rough and feelings get hurt they can also mend! I have also seen brave people lives when that person has walked away! They are left with just pieces! These are the amazing ones, people who had love and had it smashed by the choice of another person! Those are the people who I have learned the most from in Love! That even though it hurts and your heart is broken it is worth it to try again! Love with the right person for eternity is worth trying for! Broken hearts mend but real love has no words that can describe it! So after years of observation and my counselling I will take baby steps to work on being in a place were I could fall in love! As Doris Day sings in a very popular song "When I fall in love it will be completely or I never will fall in love"! But when I fall in love I will still hate Valentines day! Stupid day made up by the candy, flower, and chocolate companies! I will not fall into the consumerism! I will celebrate Love on a different day!